The Return of Fall

Something happened to me last night.

To be precise, over the course from when I fell asleep to when I awoke this morning. something in me had changed. I felt different and also sensed that the world was somehow not the same. I still had ten fingers and toes and the sun still rose as usual [or was about to]. There was stillness, but then again it was the weekend. What changed?

I dragged myself out of bed and was greeted by Haruki. That's right, I had fallen asleep reading his book. Making my way to the kitchen, it was chilly. I noticed that the plant had toppled over because of the wind and as I stepped out to the patio in my bare feet, I was greeted by the crisp wind. B-r-r-r. It occurred to me then that I had slept with the bedroom window closed for the first time in three or four months.

The house was still. This may be the first full weekend I'm home in quite a while. Somehow that thought didn't evoke loneliness, but more of a eagerness to enjoy the company of myself. A time to check in with oneself as some would say. Coffee in hand I was back in my bedroom. I was eager to finish my work, but I also had this desire to write. Again, why the sudden urge in writing? I pulled out some clothes from the closest and elected to wear an old pair of what was once a black pair of jeans which had chosen permanently to stay a grayish shade. I hadn't worn them in maybe eight months. It still fit. Glad some things haven't changed [phew]. I chose a light black cotton GAP sweater shirt, also faded from the few years of washes. Odd--only yesterday I was wearing khaki shorts and a light seersucker shirt.

Light classical solo piano music permeated throughout the house. Music usually reserved for Sunday mornings now seemed appropriate on a busy Saturday or for that matter, anytime.

I thought about Grey and wondered if she had gotten any sleep. I thought about her all night, wanting to be next to her. I suppose in a sense she was as I felt her in my thoughts and in my sleep. The sun is starting to shine through my bedroom window. Not the strong forceful sunlight of a few weeks ago, but more of the clean, white brightness just enough to bath my room with a gentle warmth. I notice my feet are cold and decide to wear socks. When was the last time I wore socks at home?

Could it be?

Of course.

Fall had arrived during the night. Not for a visit this time, but to stay.

Welcome back.